When I first met my son Alex, he was 11 months old.In the staff tea room of the Moscow orphanage.5.It smells like boiled cabbage.I sat at an old table and my fingers crumpled and smoothed the vinyl tablecloth as I waited for someone to bring him to me.My husband would be upset about the camera we borrowed.He seems to be recording everything in the room, from the plastic radio that plays Russian disco music to the broken velvet sofa covered with orange and brown swirls, three women in white lab coats are waiting for their tea.Marina, our translator, said: "They go and take your little boy.He's sleeping now."When she can't think of English words, she will make a long and attractive word --Until she heard the sound of "ummmm.Earlier, when we drove to the orphanage, we saw a group of 3-year-Old man in the same blue dressPut on a snow coat and wear a small hat covered with the ears.They play around a metal swing covered with ice.When we got off the bus, they ran through the snow and shouted "mom" and "dad" trying to touch our hands.Our adoption coordinator, Sergey, urged us to pass.I want to like Sergey, but it's hard for me to find something that can pin my feelings.He is interested in American cars, American movies and the latest Internet software.He never talked about the children."I think your son is here now," said Marina .".A blonde woman with pencil-painted eyebrows holding a little boy.He has a huge blue.Gray eyes, surrounded by dim brown shadows.She put him on my leg.He had a warm and sweet smell on his head.It's kind of like the smell of a baby who just woke up, it's kind of like the smell of an orphanage cooking cabbage.I looked at Ken.The camera covered half of his face.Half of what I can see is a smile.Sergei said you're ready for the Americans.ummmm -"The medical center," Marina said.We were told that if we wanted to get Alex out of the orphanage, we had to bring something for him to wear.The clothes of the orphanage had to stay.We have been to BabyGap."Is this a gift?"Card-Young woman in clothes"No, this is for our son," My husband told her ."."How old is he?"We don't know," I said.We bought him a navy blue sweat pants and a navy blue undershirt matching the GAP words written in red letters in front, and a small one with a hoodI couldn't help but buy him one.expensive hand-A knitted wool cap that looks a bit like a blueberry with a knitted green stem.Now, at the orphanage, I had Alex sit on the shabby velvet sofa and try to take off his velvet shirt and pink overalls.I saw Alex wearing a thin piece of cotton instead of a diaper.It was folded several times and knotted on the side.I can feel the woman wearing a white lab coat holding a cup of tea.I was wondering if they could tell me, I don't know which way to bend Alex's arm and get it into the sleeves of his new shirt.As we drove to the medical center, the dirty snow on the car in front of us splashed on the windshield.The car doesn't have a windshield wiper, and under every light our driver Vladimir will reach out and pour water from an old vodka bottle on the window so he can see the outside.There was no child car seat in the car either, so I held Alex in my arms and the blueberry hat clasped on my cheek.He grabbed me tightly on the shoulder and I could feel every little finger of him through my jacket.All the friends in our family want to know: Why Russia?My grandmother asked my brother, "Can't you find a baby in America?"We did not choose Russia.We did not choose to adopt.Because I believe in karma insurance, we went to the adoption meeting: it won't rain if you bring an umbrella.You will be pregnant if you go to the adoption meeting.What I didn't think of was that I fell in love with this umbrella.At the meeting, Ken and I saw Alex's video tape at the orphanage and we knew he was supposed to be ours.The next day I called the fertility clinic and canceled my in vitro appointment.The doctor who examined Alex was a young American woman.She has just arrived in Moscow recently but still seems to think it is a great adventure."He's a little undernourished, but he's fine other than that," she said.Will you take him home soon?"Three months later," I said."Three months?"You have to travel twice when you adopt from Moscow," I told her ."."Identify your child for the first time and then take him home again after your paperwork has been approved.Why did they let you do that?" she asked.I have no answer.Ken is taking a chart with a children's comic to illustrate what age they should be vaccinated against polio and measles.Alex turned his head to see me.His blue-The gray eyes caught my eyes.He reminds me of a bird that fell out of the nest, a bird that became your responsibility after you accidentally handled it.I looked back in his eyes, and at that moment I knew I would always put myself between him and all the dangers in the world --An evil dog, a speeding car, a shot from a gun.I became a mother.Back in the orphanage, the woman with pencil eyebrows carried Alex up the shabby felt staircase.All I can see is his knitted hat that makes his head look like a blueberry.Now, after we took him home for a year and a half, Alex couldn't help watching Mr Rogers on TV for a day.He is addicted to dim sum.We lost the blueberry hat while shopping for Christmas.Examiner writer Janis Cooke Newman lives in Marin County and is working on a book about adopting a son.E-can contact her.Email: kenjan @ linexcom.<