My life as a man

by:INGOR SPORTWEAR     2019-10-23
You may see Nora Vincent in male drag on the cover of SelfMade Man\" --
She wore rectangular glasses, fake stubble, a suit and a tie ---
And came to the conclusion that she was not a very convincing man.
But as Vincent may be the first to tell you, she is not a very convincing woman either.
In her \"female\" photo, she is wearing lipstick, eyeliner and a black dress with a plunging neckline, but she is undoubtedly one of the women traditionally referred to as \"men, as she discussed in print, she was sometimes referred to as \"Sir\" after her adulthood \".
After I finished myself
I finally understand that both photos are a drag for Vincent to try to live in a particular identity that she is not completely satisfied.
Psychologists and gender theorists may argue that we have been playing the roles that we have designated, but most of us internalize these roles under a conscious level of consciousness.
\"I have been living somewhere between men and women as my most real self,\" Vincent wrote . \" This painful, fascinating, frustrating book is designed to test the permeability, and perhaps even the ontological reality of this boundary. Vincent\'s man-
It turns out that dragging is good enough.
Before writing the book, she spent a year and a half pretending to be a man and living as much as possible.
When \"Ned\" joins the bowling league, goes to the strip club, enters the monastery, and dates women of the opposite sex (
Slept with one of them)
, Did a sales job, and then made a men\'s wear
None of this was found.
Some of Ned\'s social contacts find him weird. -
It makes sense from the sound of things-
But apparently no one guessed his secret before being told.
Vincent wrote that it was much easier to adopt a male than she thought.
Although she was carefully prepared to tie her breasts with fake stubble at the beginning-
Two sports bras in too small size are better than Ace bandage-
She adjusted her voice and manner, and even wore a false penis in her trousers, and she found that these were unnecessary once Ned was established and accepted in a given environment.
According to her report, the first time a man walks on the streets of East Village, New York, it is undoubtedly a new experience.
No one stared, no one looked at it for the second or third time-
This is the difference.
\"As a woman, you can\'t walk on these streets invisibly,\" Vincent wrote . \".
\"You are an object of desire, or at least half-interested in the person waiting there, even if you are not beautiful ---
Or you\'re just another Pussy that\'s been put in its place.
\"On the other hand, men often meet in a flash and then look elsewhere in a gesture of mutual respect or at least\" unwilling to show disrespect.
\"I think Vincent was too dramatic and she suggested that a man look at the face of another man and either invite conflict or invite gay to meet, but she was right, those things are somewhere on the surface, and it is surprising for any male reader to see one of the most deeply rooted male public codes of conduct so briskly analyzed.
Although Vincent and Ned are sometimes as clear, the consequences of becoming Ned are even more serious --
Far more than she expected.
Vincent may be a relative lesbian, but as she explains carefully, she is still a real woman --
The type of woman is not a transgender or a transvestite.
She went on to say, \"so this is not a memoir of repentance.
I\'m not solving a sexual identity crisis.
\"Well, that\'s what I said.
In a publishing world full of self
Indulgent and/or false memoirs of repentance, it seems rude to accuse the writer of not writing a memoir. But \"Self-
\"The person who is doing\" is self
It is clearly about the journey of a woman into a state of gender confusion and nervousness that is far from mental division.
When it strives to avoid the mode of confession, it becomes more opaque and less specific and almost suffocates itself in the process.
When I was acting as a doctor in Vienna, let\'s say that \"I have not solved the crisis of sexual identity\" is very vague.
Just as: No, you are not, do you think that the crisis belongs to Vincent alone or is it more socially inclined (Even specieswide)
It can be debated.
Being a man or playing a man makes Vincent crazy-
I mean-
This extremely special book document slipped into madness without facing it positively --on.
Vincent, a frank and brave writer, is always eager to avoid political difficulties and hacker thinking, and the male reader has been eagerly turning pages.
Vincent caught a glimpse of something that few women could see about masculinity.
But she refuses to show herself to the reader, even if her project terms require this ---
A project that must involve falsehood and concealment ---
Finally present the \"self
\"It\'s almost frustrating because it\'s enlightening.
Vincent started with a rigorous attitude, trying to avoid a general view of gender and being cautious about her view of the male experience.
She wrote in the first chapter: \"The next thing is just what I think of things, a woman\'s --
An eye observation of a person\'s similar life, rather than an authoritative guide to the entire vast and colorful terrain of American male life.
To the end of \"self\"
However, Vincent, with all the recklessness of the latest love, is dotted with dubious grand statements --your-overexamined-Best seller of life
She told us that on a page or so after reporting that \"my gender is rooted in my brain, it may be biochemical,\" living close to my own rootsimage . . .
Closer than my race, class, religion or nationality, in fact so close that it is not comparable to those categories.
\"Maybe Vincent is right, or her strange advice about no one is right,\" but only men and women, separated like sects.
But Vincent is not a geneticist or an evolutionary biologist.
Neither do I).
These are more of a political point of view or ideological presupposition for me.
Before writing this book, Vincent was best known for his views on libertarian society and his hard work.
New conservative views on foreign policy(
She wrote for Sharon between 1998 and 2002, but I don\'t know her. )
If these cultures --
The idea of war about the deeply rooted and rigid nature of gender is not a long-held view of Vincent, which she evokes at the end of the \"self\"
\"Let the man\" to explain and belittle the pain and difficulties she experienced as Ned.
Vincent\'s compassion, compassion and friendship for those who work, work and drink with them are true;
The last thing you call her is a man. hater.
But it is amazing, perhaps inadvertently revealed, that for a woman, she has told us that she has found her most real self on the \"border between men and women, thus, it is concluded that human beings are divided into two pairs
Vincent did not hide her sexual orientation, but she never really discussed it.
In the early days of the book, she mentioned her girlfriend (
A man who has only played twice but has never been named)
When she acts like a woman in a member of Ned bowling, she adds, \"Hey, you know I\'m DYK, right \"(
Someone replied, \"Yes, I have collected it. \")
In the course of the book, we can infer more: she apparently dated a man in college, and when she was in her 20 s, she moved to New York, come out.
That\'s what she wants us to know. maybe that\'s enough.
As I said, there is something refreshing about this restraint in the era of forced Selfrevelation.
Obviously, she doesn\'t want the self\"
Mainly interpreted as a male gay guide, you can argue that people like her have sexual experience in both directions, but are now out of straight drama, is the ideal object of this experiment.
Nevertheless, it seems to me that when we deal with people who switch gender, there is still some backsliding of the relevant material here, partly due to our edification and partly due to personal reasons, it seems unclear.
If they are happy enough, how does she feel about her different experiences in the past, does she always know that she is a lesbian, it\'s a seamless transition, still a painful and difficult transition, did she have direct friends, or lived mainly in a gay and lesbian social world, how did she get along with her family.
Vincent, of course, has every right to keep these things confidential.
More importantly, it seems that her management of information has never been fully confident or controlled;
Just as Ned concealed himself from the people around him, Vincent also concealed himself from us.
She never felt like she was a completely trustworthy narrator, and that\'s not what you wanted because someone had a long cheat.
After the recent news release, considering Vincent\'s refusal to give his name or place (
Not even cities, states or regions of the country)
I think people have to ask whether the details of Ned\'s life were invented or modified.
\"Self\" makes me very uncomfortable.
\"Made Man\" is completely unverifiable, but I don\'t think it\'s a scam.
Vincent\'s most sensitive moment-
The intricacies of male friendship, or the dull, hostile game skills of dating the opposite sex ---
If she did all the material, it might be more explosive and less ambiguous.
In fact, when Vincent knows herself best, she is in her best shape, which does not mean a blow --by-
Her history of sex.
Her bowling chapter. \"Friendship\")is a mini-
This is a masterpiece of compassionate reporting, and there is no doubt that the New York Lesbian intellectual has taken great courage to enter a competitive bowling league in the heart of the United States, it is the most male of all male holy places.
Ned was completely considered a bowler, as Vincent sadly admitted, by the standards of the work --
In the class environment, even a woman wearing a mop will leave as a teenage man.
But Vincent found out that her teammates kept surprising herself.
Ned was hardly ever laughed at for his poor technique, but became a brother-like object --
Father\'s education and care.
One week after another, he was accepted as one of them, he was an eccentric man, and his modest achievements were celebrated.
This is the benefit of the usual ruthless male competitive impulse, which any boy who struggles with his lack of athletic talent can agree. (
After countless coaching sessions, the day I won the legal Little League title ---
Okay, this is a piece of dust on the right.
Field line, but it went three times! --
Is one of the best memories of my childhood. )
Ned\'s first meeting with his captain Jim was so good and worth quoting. Jim, wearing an oversized jersey, is aggressive and likes to be the object of his own jokes.
At that ceremony, Vincent wrote, they extended their arms to each other, like a doodle sweeping motion.
\"Our palms came across a soft pop-up window, and when people gathered in someone\'s living room to watch a football match, I squeezed it as confidently as I saw them at the party.
From the outside, the ceremony always seemed too much for me.
Why all the macho rituals, but internally it is completely different.
There is something so warm and united in this handshake.
Receiving it is a rush, an instant blend of friendship that feels very old and practiced.
\"It\'s more affectionate than any handshake I get from a strange woman,\" she continued . \". \"To me, woman-to-
The introduction of women is often false and cold, full of weak and gentle.
I have seen many women hug each other like this, sometimes even women who have known each other for a long time will regard each other as good friends.
They are like two reverse magnets pushed together by convention.
Their arms and cheeks meet, perhaps at the top of their shoulders, but only a short courtesy will allow.
It is born of habit and appearance, an empty, even resentful gesture that is conceived upon us and rarely felt.
\"As Ned/Nora later observed, teammates barely discussed their emotional lives, just in the form of clips, coding.
When Jim\'s wife was diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer, it was clearly lifelong --
Threat, these guys barely talk about it.
Mainly what Vincent finds is one of the most gentle truths of men, these are
Male institutions (
Sports teams, card games, hunting and fishing clubs)
In their own way to cultivate and liberated areas.
She is one of America\'s most hated minorities.
Vincent found that these particular specimens were not particularly characterized by racism, aversion to women, or homophobia.
Of course, this conversation is frank and vulgar, and a considerable effort is devoted to planning a secret trip to \"milk bar \".
\"But Ned\'s teammates were very respectful and admired for their wife, and when he finally leaked his secrets, they all seemed impressed and relieved.
\"I have to give it to you, and that requires the ball ---
Or something else . \"
In the end, Ned makes sense: that\'s why he\'s such a good listener, such a crappy bowler.
\"They brought me in and I lied to them,\" Vincent reflected in the most touching self of the book. exploration.
\"I have been condescending them all the time, and even in my gracious surprise they are somehow human.
They made this leap on my behalf without being suppressed snobbish.
I have been condescending them on these pages, congratulating myself on condescending to accept their love and handing out my own love as I assume to understand them. . .
They made me welcome among them and by doing so they made me feel a bit like an arrogant jerkit-all.
In a sense, they made me the subject of my own report.
\"For all the heartfelt love and gratitude Vincent has for Ned bowling partners, we have also found a theme in this chapter that will dominate the rest of the book: men and women are fundamentally different creatures because they are strangled and their emotional quality of life is limited due to the unique power of men\'s sexual desire.
Ned and the dead went out to play-
She wrote that strip clubs that ended the \"sex\" chapter seem to feel that their sexuality is an unwanted but unavoidable burden, \"the heavy things you carry with you, except on the legs of a damaged stranger, you have no place to uninstall and then only have five minutes.
\"On the other hand, 30-
The dating of British single women in the \"love\" chapter is considered a hostile and extremely confused creature ---
On the one hand, they want sensitive men who can communicate emotionally, on the other hand, they want
People who charge can pay for dinner, open the door, and then, later, \"nail them to the bed.
\"Injured in previous relationships, they changed every new person (
Even if he is not a man)
\"They expect him to become a malignant tumor\", thus contributing to the \"self\"
The cycle of unkindness and discontent lasts forever.
\"I didn\'t question the validity of Ned/Nora\'s empirical observations, but Vincent was basically caught in the most terrible shark --
The straight version of the tank found that the water was full of sharks.
Yes, many men have found a way out of sex through terrible strip clubs, dead
The eyes of prostitutes and internet porn are infinitely belittling the universe.
Yes, twice in the dating pool.
Burn a woman with an inverted hookwire defenses.
But we don\'t need any lesbians with hairstyles and urinating.
The bad bowling game brought back these popular gender 101 staples;
They can be found on daily daytime chat shows and women\'s magazines.
There is no doubt that it is brave and noble for Vincent to try to cross class and gender boundaries, but despite her knowledge of this issue with the bowling team, I think the former is more important than she realizes.
In addition to the painful dating chapter, she never tried to find the kind of heterosexual man she might have known, an urban man with Bobo --style, liberal-
Artistic values and tendencies. (
Nor will she try to be a gay in this regard. )
In this case, I don\'t think it\'s as difficult to be a man as she thinks, no matter how people think about the biochemical basis of sex and sex, the gender role performed much more smoothly than she described.
As a man, my personal experience may not have more general applicability than Ned, but, hey, I am already a man who is much longer than him.
If the legacy of feminism complicated certain things for heterosexual men, I am very satisfied with that.
Maybe men still don\'t \"open up\" as easily as women do, but strong emotional self
The review system described by Vincent is not universal or consistent.
For example, I have discussed my dad\'s death with my male friend many times, and I am grateful when my old friend returns after his own father\'s death (
The man I loved too).
I now have a son who is almost 2 years old, and while I am sure I will make some questionable parenting decisions, I am not worried that I will reject his love, and don\'t worry about getting him to some sort of false male standard.
If it\'s Betty Frieden\'s most vulgar behavior
Style, feminism in their 70 s, or Robert Bole\'s most embarrassing drum ring in the woods, I am very grateful to achieve this.
As for the sexual behavior of men, the old talk is still correct: Any man who says he has never been attracted to pornography is either a liar, or a abnormal woman who really needs to worry. Man-
Large doses of testosterone can trigger all sorts of silly, irrational and even violent behavior, and in this regard, the difference between genders is clearly a chemical problem.
But Vincent seems to think that only men will treat sexual desire as an inconvenient burden, a vague desire to be satisfied or suppressed, which I do not believe.
You don\'t need a degree in psychology to understand that if men are socialized for a long time, spend excess sexual desire on sex agents ---
Are they going to spend $5?
Miss January, 95, $650 on a working girl from Heidi Frith-
After training, women can sublimate their costumes to Manolo heels and Hermes scarves.
Moreover, in recent decades the gender gap has narrowed sharply on these issues, which is no longer a secret, even if we do not agree on how this happened and why it happened.
Personally, I \'ve never been on a date with a woman who was at least not thrilled by porn fantasies or curious about a non-vanilla type, only the non-mainstream \"bad girl\" experience that men once wanted.
Desire is not always desirable for women and men.
I had a short date with a porn-averse lawyer who agreed with Catherine McKinnon\'s ideology that pornography itself was a form of sexual violence that should be banned.
At least it\'s her daytime story. -
It wasn\'t until late at night, after three or four glasses of vodka, that pile of impressive dirty magazines under her bed came out.
Yes, one of Ned\'s painful dating experiences ended up in bed, even if his secrets were leaked.
Vincent drew a chivalrous cloak in this episode, just saying that the woman was not a password.
Even bisexual.
Ned\'s stay at the Roman Catholic monastery was a bittersweet article full of frustration and (
Report of my shock! )
Gay.
But Vincent is clearly less interested in Ned\'s adventures in the outside world, and more consumed by her own inner torture.
She adopted a pattern that could almost be called male and ended up discussing her pain in the penultimate chapter of the book, but only in half of the clipLanguage of ironyOn a men\'s-
Ned asked another man he admired to cut him with a knife. (
This part was received by Vincent\'s later divines as it was a female
Self-coding formmutilation. )
The only knives available in these Wildernessdwelling he-
It turned out that the man was a plastic toy, so Ned/Nora returned home, did not satisfy his desire, and finally sent himself to a locked mental hospital.
Vincent did not know that she was in a narrative dilemma;
We are reading a book written by a stubborn female journalist who wears men\'s clothing for \"black people like me\"style first-
She ended up in a Madhouse defined as \"passive suicide.
\"The last thing Vincent wants to write in the world is another chick memoir about my emotional trauma, so she tries to weave her collapse into her analysis of men.
What happened to her as Ned, Vincent wrote, \"is what most people in the male group are doing in some form, even though I have experienced a stronger alienation. . .
My efforts are disastrous.
But for these people it is not particularly appropriate to live in the box of their men, and learning this in spades may be the best lesson for Ned in gender role toxicity.
\"I appreciate the generosity of working here.
When Vincent reported that \"it\'s hard to be a man,\" she really wanted to say that it\'s hard for all of us to achieve the established ideals of men, and maybe just a little bit difficult for Ned.
But I strongly doubt what she means is that Norah is having trouble being treated by Ned in a way that she has not faced, pretending to be a man does not give her the privilege or freedom of any so-called man, this is subtly, perhaps subconsciously disappointing.
She was too cautious to honestly write about the difficulties and pains she had obviously experienced, but too limited to this subjectivity to see what it was.
Ned seems to be a good man.
A little sentimental, a little too serious, a little too eager to please.
But his heart is right. we can always use more of these people.
Is it as hard to be a man as he is? Well, yes; manhood 2.
0 provides all the old traps and some new ones.
We are all trying to make up for it, mixing things in class A with things in class B: A dose of old
Old-fashioned stoogism, some beeping, and the ability to cry or hug each other from time to time without feeling embarrassed.
A bourbon and a chardonnay;
It doesn\'t always work.
Think about it, you can say the same thing to a woman.
These days, they are all wearing sexy underwear, downloading killer cookie recipes on their BlackBerry phones, trying to become the attorney general.
Could be awkward.
Some people, like Norah Vincent, are trying to find a feminine temperament that is close to the male temperament.
In my opinion, it is very difficult to be human. we may all be just as inappropriate. wearing, role-
After all, kind of play.
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